Funny Stories in English

Sick lion

A lion had come to the end of his days. He lay helpless under a tree.

The animals came around him. When they saw that he was going to die, they thought to themselves, “Now is the time to pay him back.”

So the boar came up and rushed at him with his tusks.

Then a bull gored him with his horns. The lion still lay helpless before them.

So the ass felt quite safe. He turned his tail to the lion and kicked up his heels into his face.

“This is a double death.” growled the lion.

The Frog Princess And The Engineer

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”.

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.” “Why won’t you kiss me?”

The boy said, “Look, I’m a software engineer, I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”